Thursday, January 18, 2018
My Goal Is NOT To Change You
By: Donovan Baldwin
When I first put my comments here, on Blogger and social media, independent comments as opposed to comments on other comments, I was not sure what my goal was.
I wanted to write, and I wanted someone to read what I wrote, but, I had no larger goal than that.
Then, "that" happened. I HAD readers, and I was faced with a new choice.
Should I use these platforms to exercise mind control over my readers, amuse and amaze them, or, with blinding words and brilliant wit, offer them advice on how to live their lives (the big temptation)?
After some thought (I won't tell you how much or how little), I decided that I like you pretty much the way you are, and don't really have any major desire to change you.
Yet, that "advice" thing still nudged at the back of my mind, and my ego. So, after some thought, I decided to mainly talk about me and my thoughts, my musings, errant and otherwise, and out loud. I could tell you what I was feeling, thinking, remembering, and, if you liked it, you could respond or move on.
What I have found is that a lot of what I say resonates...not with everyone or every time, but, one human telling a story about themselves reminds another of a similar story, or provokes a thought about life or self.
Kind of like neighbors at the back fence chatting.
I like that.
I like hearing from friends.
Join me?
I wanted to write, and I wanted someone to read what I wrote, but, I had no larger goal than that.
Then, "that" happened. I HAD readers, and I was faced with a new choice.
Should I use these platforms to exercise mind control over my readers, amuse and amaze them, or, with blinding words and brilliant wit, offer them advice on how to live their lives (the big temptation)?
After some thought (I won't tell you how much or how little), I decided that I like you pretty much the way you are, and don't really have any major desire to change you.
Yet, that "advice" thing still nudged at the back of my mind, and my ego. So, after some thought, I decided to mainly talk about me and my thoughts, my musings, errant and otherwise, and out loud. I could tell you what I was feeling, thinking, remembering, and, if you liked it, you could respond or move on.
What I have found is that a lot of what I say resonates...not with everyone or every time, but, one human telling a story about themselves reminds another of a similar story, or provokes a thought about life or self.
Kind of like neighbors at the back fence chatting.
I like that.
I like hearing from friends.
Join me?
Labels: advice, change, comments, donovan baldwin, goal, social media, thought, writing
Sunday, September 24, 2017
You're Your Own Best Friend
By: Donovan Baldwin
I wonder sometimes why people have so little respect for their own opinions, knowledge, and insight.
There is such a huge interest in "self help" and motivational books these days...and for decades.
People, seeking "answers", or, even, "the answer", will read book after book seeking truth, only to nod or shake their head in agreement or disagreement...and then go off and do what they want to...maybe even wanted to, from the start.
A lot of times, people, not you and me, of course...those "other" people, will start with a belief, and search until they find justification for their opinion. Once an "expert" is found who can back us up, we feel so much better about our choice to do or be whatever it was we wanted to be or do in the first place.
Actually, most of us have good sense, we just don't use it...or, maybe just don't trust it.
I've had friends and family come to me wanting help, or advice, on deciding which course of action they should choose.
My basic, "go-to", response?
What would YOU tell your child, your Mom, your Dad, your spouse, partner, best friend, to do?
Usually, if they give it a try, they come up with acceptable answers.
Most people won't treat themselves as if they are a "best friend", or, as if they have the "smarts" to give good counsel.
But, I think maybe they are wrong.
Right?
There is such a huge interest in "self help" and motivational books these days...and for decades.
People, seeking "answers", or, even, "the answer", will read book after book seeking truth, only to nod or shake their head in agreement or disagreement...and then go off and do what they want to...maybe even wanted to, from the start.
A lot of times, people, not you and me, of course...those "other" people, will start with a belief, and search until they find justification for their opinion. Once an "expert" is found who can back us up, we feel so much better about our choice to do or be whatever it was we wanted to be or do in the first place.
Actually, most of us have good sense, we just don't use it...or, maybe just don't trust it.
I've had friends and family come to me wanting help, or advice, on deciding which course of action they should choose.
My basic, "go-to", response?
What would YOU tell your child, your Mom, your Dad, your spouse, partner, best friend, to do?
Usually, if they give it a try, they come up with acceptable answers.
Most people won't treat themselves as if they are a "best friend", or, as if they have the "smarts" to give good counsel.
But, I think maybe they are wrong.
Right?
Labels: advice, best friend, donovan baldwin, friends, giving advice, life lesson, self help
