Ravensong Poetry And Writing Blog by Donovan Baldwin

When I was growing up, and as an adult, most of us, maybe all of us, had never heard of "trigger words."

That seems to be a pretty popular expression these days. I guess so many people are having trouble adapting to the real world, wanting safe places and such, that they're psychoanalyzing themselves or picking up psychological phraseology... seeking a way to define what they see as their "problem."

An easy way to justify a reaction to something is to say one thing caused it... a trigger word.

We used to say, "that reminded me", or "that took me back", or "I had forgotten about that until _____ reminded me".

I don't like to use "trigger word(s)" in my speech because that's a trigger word for me, and I don't believe that complex problems should always be assumed to have simple solutions. For some people a "trigger word" is such because they've never had to face enough real life to know the event is common and likely to be encountered many times in life.

I have worked for and with psychologists (before "trigger word" became a popular phrase. I have taken my own family to various counselors (upon recommendation), and sat through some egregious b___ s___.

Before I go any further, let me say that I have known good counsellors, mediocre counsellors, and downright stupid, self-centered counsellors. There ARE good ones out there, but, as in any profession or occupation, there will be "The Good, The Bad, And The Ugly"... apologies to Clint Eastwood.

When my children were referred to a counsellor, the first thing he did was tell us an old family story of his... which I had just read in a copy of Psychology Today magazine in his waiting room. Oddly enough, I had read the same exact story in a Reader's Digest a couple of years before that.

I won't go into the ups and downs, and ins and outs of all I have personally and directly observed... we could be here all day, but, beware self-diagnosis, and approach even the opinions of professionals with a healthy skepticism... especially in the social media driven world of the internet.

And do NOT assume that every problem can be traced to the use of "trigger words" by others. Sometimes the problem is we have taken on someone else's problem, and allow bad feelings to become terrible feelings.

Recently, in a conversation of my teenage daughter's attempted suicide several years ago, I was "triggered" terribly, but took the time to converse and explain events and experiences to someone who truly cared, someone I truly wanted to know what had happened, how I felt... someone who had previously warned ME that they had "trigger words" that made them upset and angry.

Also, for ME, having spent 21 years in the military, the word "trigger" carries a lot more weight than for someone from a civilian environment... where triggers can kill and destroy. Maybe that's why "trigger word" is such a trigger word for me.

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